What To Do After You've Experienced Trauma

The American Psychological Association defines trauma as an emotional response to exposure to death, injury, or other harm. These harms can be straightforwardly physically dangerous, such as a car accident or natural disaster, or emotionally dangerous threats such as parental neglect or discriminatory harassment .

It’s important to note that everyone responds to trauma differently. Although trauma can affect people long after the immediate aftermath, not everyone who experiences trauma develops Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Specific diagnostic criteria for PTSD involves a combination of different symptoms like intrusive thoughts and/or memories, avoidance of trauma-related triggers, negative changes in mood and cognition, and hyperarousal that exist for more than a month.

With that said, it’s important to show up for yourself no matter how trauma presents in your life. Ignoring the effects of trauma can have negative consequences that affect your mental and emotional health. Unaddressed trauma also has the potential to impact your relationships to family, friends, work, religious community, and more.
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It’s not your fault

The first—arguably most crucial—step in dealing with trauma is understanding that trauma is not your fault. Trauma can often make us feel like we’re to blame or that we somehow could’ve prevented it. However, holding yourself accountable for something beyond your control only deepens the emotional wound.

“If survivors start to believe that the trauma was in their control, they can believe that they can control whether trauma happens to them in the future,” explains psychiatrist, trauma survivor and co-founder of Nema Sofia Noori, MD. “This isn’t true. An example is, ‘I was assaulted because I wore a skirt.’ A survivor who believes this may then start to dress differently, believing that it helps to prevent sexual assault, when there's no research to support this and this likely isn't actually true. These beliefs feed into avoidance and help to shrink the lives of survivors.”

This self-blame is common and often referred to as a “stuck point,” a term used in Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), to describe unhelpful beliefs people have about how they may have "caused" or could have prevented their trauma. While it’s natural to look for ways to make sense of what happened, remember that the responsibility lies with the person or situation that harmed you, not with you.
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Be kind to yourself

Self-compassion is key when you’re recovering from trauma. It’s easy to be hard on yourself during this process, such as feeling like you should be "over it" or to criticize yourself for not handling it differently. It can also be difficult to discern others’ reactions to your trauma, if you decide to disclose it.

“Oftentimes, we absorb problematic thoughts and beliefs from others like catastrophizing: ‘Oh my goodness, that must have been devastating!’” Dr. Noori elaborates. “Catastrophizing, or assuming that a patient should be scared, can actually increase the likelihood that the patient develops PTSD symptoms. This is why it's really important to see a therapist trained in trauma-focused practices instead of a generalist.”

However, healing from trauma requires the same kind of care and patience you would extend to a loved one. Allow room for all your emotions without judgment, recognizing your resilience, and giving yourself grace during difficult moments. Forgive yourself when you stumble or struggle to make progress.
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Take your time

Healing is not a race, and everyone’s journey looks different. It’s easy to compare your progress to others or feel like you’re not moving fast enough, but the path to recovery is rarely linear. Some days you may feel like you're making great strides, and others you may feel stuck. This is completely normal.

Meanwhile, it’s also important to acknowledge that healing doesn’t have to take a long time. In fact, CPT can help trauma survivors feel significantly better in just four to six weeks, with many no longer experiencing PTSD symptoms after this time. While you should take the time you need, know that feeling better can happen much quicker than you might expect. Healing is always possible, whenever you’re ready to start.
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Find community

Trauma often can make us feel isolated, but healing in the presence of others can be incredibly powerful. Relational healing, or the process of connecting with others who understand and support you, plays a crucial role in building resilience. Sharing the emotional weight of your trauma, whether it’s with trusted friends, support groups, or other healing communities, helps ease the burden and brings comfort. Being seen and heard by others who have experienced similar pain can provide validation and help you process your emotions in a safe space.
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“Trauma is inherently a violation of your trust and faith in the world: something happened to you that you often believe you shouldn't have,” adds Dr. Noori. “Support from others helps people challenge the scary thoughts and feelings that they have by providing proof that goodness still exists. Positive social connections also help people succeed in treatment more, which is why part of Nema's care model is peer mentorship.”
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Taking action to build community can be as simple as reaching out to a close friend, joining an online support group, or attending community healing spaces. Sometimes, the hardest part is taking that first step, but once you do, you may find that you no longer have to carry your trauma alone.
Seek professional support

While community and self-care are critical for healing, professional help can be transformative in overcoming trauma. Therapy offers a safe space to process emotions and break patterns of negative thinking, helping you understand and heal from the impact of trauma. CPT is particularly effective for trauma recovery, addressing the unhelpful beliefs, or "stuck points," that many survivors experience. By challenging and reframing these thoughts, CPT can significantly reduce trauma's emotional hold, often leading to major improvements in just four to six weeks.
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Trauma can be complex, and having a therapist to guide you through the process ensures that you’re not alone in facing its challenges. Therapy provides the structure, tools, and coping strategies needed to navigate the emotional and mental aftermath of trauma. While the idea of starting therapy may feel daunting, it can ultimately lead to significant relief and lasting recovery.
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If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey, book an appointment here with one of our trauma-informed specialists at Nema. Together, we can help you find the path to recovery.

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