How to Support a Romantic Partner with PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can have a profound effect on romantic relationships – including how someone communicates, trusts, and emotionally connects with a partner.

Some might assume that those with PTSD are inherently difficult partners or are incapable of maintaining loving relationships – but the truth is that while PTSD can present relationship challenges, survivors are beyond capable of deep emotional connections, empathy, and commitment, especially with understanding and adequate support. 

Understanding the effects of trauma and learning how to support a partner with PTSD can make a big difference in creating a healthy, romantic relationship. Shara Kaszovitz, LCSW, staff trauma therapist at Nema Health, explains that PTSD can show up in relationships as intrusive and unwanted memories, thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations related to a traumatic event. “These intrusions also may make focusing and being present in the moment with their partner difficult," she says.

PTSD can also strain relationships by making it difficult to trust a partner, exerting control in the relationship as a defense mechanism, or avoiding vulnerability and sexual intimacy altogether. "Trauma survivors may lose interest in sex, be fearful of getting hurt if they are sexually intimate, or fear having intrusive memories during sexual contact," she notes. "They may also worry about how their partner will respond to any of these reactions and if they’ll be judged."

To best support your partner during their PTSD recovery – and strengthen your relationship while you’re at it – consider these tips: 

1. Foster a safe environment

Creating a safe environment is essential for someone with PTSD to feel secure and supported. Judgment-free communication allows them to express their thoughts and emotions without fear of criticism or dismissal.

“Create a safe space for your partner to share their experiences and feelings,” explains Amy Waszak, LMFT, another staff therapist at Nema. “This means listening with empathy and without judgment.” Try asking open-ended questions like 'How can I be here for you?' and 'What do you need from me right now?' instead of assuming you know how your partner feels. 

Avoid pressuring your partner to share details about their trauma; instead, let them set the pace and decide when they feel comfortable opening up. Trust is built over time through consistent listening, empathy, and reassurance. By respecting their boundaries and showing unwavering support, you can help create a space where they feel valued and understood, which will strengthen your connection.

2. Practice healthy boundaries 

Waszak emphasizes the importance of self-care for partners supporting someone with PTSD – and setting boundaries is a crucial first-step. (The book Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab is an excellent resource for beginners and experts.)

"Recognize your limits—you're a [romantic] partner, not a therapist. You don't need to have all the answers or solutions," Waszak stresses.

It’s important to take care of your own mental health too. Engaging in hobbies, maintaining friendships, and seeking personal therapy can prevent burnout and emotional exhaustion. "Make sure you’re meeting your basic needs, practice stress reduction, talk to friends and family about how you’re doing, and consider seeking out therapy or support groups,” Waszak says.

Supporting a loved one with PTSD can be challenging, so caring for yourself enables long-term support and compassion in your romantic relationship.

3. Encourage professional help

If your romantic partner has PTSD but isn’t currently in treatment, you can gently encourage them to seek professional help from a therapist, especially if you notice PTSD symptoms impact your relationship.

When suggesting therapy to a partner, timing and approach matter. Waszak advises using "I" statements to express concern rather than making demands. "Instead of saying 'You need help,' focus on your observations,” she explains. “For example, 'I'm noticing that you're really struggling lately,' or 'I'm concerned about your well-being.'"

She also recommends reassuring your partner of your support, researching treatment options, and offering practical assistance, such as covering responsibilities to make attending therapy more feasible. If a partner is hesitant about therapy, alternative options such as online support groups, self-help resources, or trauma-informed books may serve as a starting point. Encouraging gradual steps can be more effective than pushing for immediate professional intervention.

While PTSD can pose challenges in romantic relationships, understanding the condition, maintaining open communication, and seeking appropriate support can help partners navigate these difficulties together. With patience and care, couples can build a stronger, more resilient relationship. Recognizing that both partners’ needs matter, and that healing is possible, can lay the foundation for a meaningful partnership.

If your loved one is ready to take the next step in their healing journey, help them book an appointment here with one of our trauma-informed specialists at Nema. Together, we can help them on their path to healing and peace.